young

full of running

tell me where has that taken me

just a great

figure of eight

or a tiny infinity

legacy or liability

so i guess at the end of the day, there's always a nagging doubt, a gnawing fear, that i'll die with nothing to my name, lying on my deathbed not having achieved anything in this short, sad and pathetic life. we come with nothing, leave a trail of destruction, then disappear without a trace. how terrifying indeed.

anyway, if i do indeed die young, will really appreciate having a non religious ceremony, and please don't burn paper stuff or clothes. will be nice if everything usable could be donated and no further destruction to earth done in my name when i'm dead. oh well can go on and on about how i wish my end would be but it all sounds too morbid. just hope for everyone to be happy. but no prayers please. thanks.

in time it'll fade

wait, wait, that's not what i said
to my horror the sun's up and i'm still in bed
for the effort i lacked and now in stone it's laid
after sunset for light i await
and for the words not uttered now that he's dead

nostalgia is a warm gun

for ma friend aspirin



this really hits home

i wont mince it

and so you think its fine
keeping score while exclaiming how you're having a great time

finding fault and sharpening your sword
ever eager to rid of vigour

placing in doubt all that exists
giving faith to all that negates

twisting words to fit your rhyme
behind your smile preparing a bucket of slime

here's wishing you luck that you will find
someone who can understand your kind

the little left after the theft

I still see you

But growing ever so distant

Like a fading star

and then sprang a gap

growing older and starting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders

and with each step taken rising fear that i'll falter

delve deep and the more you'll find

but knowledge corrupts innocent minds like deviant grains in sands of time

its no longer about the things you wish you know but the things you wish you had never known

but we cant regret we cant turn back

so basically im toally fucked up and disappointed everyone
kkthxbye

i dont think its possible ...

and i often wonder if i ever meant anythng you

never believed in anything
especially in myself

oh the tyranny of mediocrity

hate being inferior in any way, much less many ways, to those around. guess this fucked up mentality's gonna hit me bad some way or another soon

meek slip

"i can write on and on and not get whatever's stuck in my head out'

so dry, the blind mice

the heated debate in my head

empty promises

treading a fine line between hope and regret
waking up in yet another dream
falling asleep in nights that never end

through darkness truth meanders
for questions i dont need answers
with each step i falter

in the tension that escalates
in release it hopes to vindicate
sinking into the deep
resurfacing where ends meet

please get me out of here
free me of my inner fears
clear the doubts and dry those tears
hear me out and hold me near

the end so enticing
the trip so terrifying
isn't an option but to stay on course
won't look back in remorse

and in the end we'll reconcile
the differences that seem like miles
disposing of all that guile
removing knives behind those smiles

took up more than a couple of new commitments, because i'm gasping to move on with life. my thoughts are that these binding arrangements will transform the ordinary course of things, and just maybe i will come out a little better. a little tougher and smarter. i thought i was tough and smart enough, but now i know i'm just a pile of blocks. every day of growing up takes so much effort, even as a passive process... all that coming to terms with new things that i see or feel.

for now, the rest of the semester looks like a blur from here, i honestly can't tell the trajectory...

初恋

sian need to buck up

skew lines
broken charts
flooded streets
empty hearts

messing up my lines
this script aint mine
searching for a hint of divine
to explain all i cant define

its still so cold
its getting old
near the black hole
cant just say no

so on it goes

i don't even try to be reticent or taciturn as they call me. i'm just more comfortable this way.