the trip

much easier week ahead. i'm hoping. survive the walk and shoot and i'd be fine. other than some nasty people i'd be meeting in the week ahead. hope i make it out of camp early this friday. stuff to see too.

on another aspect. i'm still having trouble piecing the random thoughts together. the draining of mental capacity and capability is not helping either. neither is the rotting of my command of the english language and the lack of an avenue to brush up my chinese. hope to put something coherent sometime soon. or at least put up a deadline for that. what i'm thinking. what i'm seeing. all that i am. all there is to be.

flashes (goes as it comes)

the wait
the run
can't say for how much longer
i'll wait and see
how it goes
on and on
til it drops
it won't stop
the visions
the dreams
hopes and aspirations
where i'd like to be
what i'd hope you see

steel heart

tough week ahead
after a short weekend
gtg
gg

another week in the 'life'

2 good weeks
looks like another ahead
10k csb test
section quick attack live firing
and lots of lessons
pity thers guard duty
not rly lucky to get weekend duty
but anyhows
hopes this week turns out to be what it promises to be
a good one like the past 2
then after that
gotta embrace the field camps to come
:(

a handful of air

struck my heart like a meteor
left it in pieces scattered like stars across the universe
these fragments
just won't leave
like moons orbiting around planets
or planets round the sun
pulled in by that force
that just won't let go
it knows
it can't hold on forever
but still it tries
i know
it can't let go

this is it

still alive

first week was, well, ok. i guess. but enjoying my weekend while i can. ends tmr evening. demo. mg. 8km. 10km. shooting competition(dots). 3 day weekend. up nxt

and lots of live firings in the weeks to come
including uo (fux)
tough life
soon i'd be able to add short as an adjective to life too

:/

geared up and ready to go be a superhero!
aslc ftw... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

not quite what i'd want it to be ... but well lets just see how it goes
and so here we go again

no pictures or a thousand words
no hint of joy or tinge of regret
but the notes string on into a melody
weaving
bringing neither colour nor texture
looping
leaving neither knots or patterns
no direction or correction
but it goes on

need for speed

finally got down to running. after days of procrastination. though was obviously lacking physically. the lacking of mentally was especially appalling. gotta work on it. couple of days left. havnt done much pt. hope life's not too tough next week. but right now. a terrible headache

and then i drew a blank

no need to be emptied cuz was empty all the while
small touches here and there will do it no good neither will it be harmed
it extends and expands
never to end
i started
but starting is never enough
i tried
but trying is never enough
i waited
and waited

is in its incoherence
the bottomless pit
of nothingness
holes in socks
in it
it out
reach
toes
out
to touch nothing
falling
and falling...

lost my mind

can't describe
nothing to hide
with will and might
none on my side
(as the chili peppers would have said, i could have lied)

makes me wonder

sun shines
sweat streaks
into my eyes
as i squint to catch that ray
wind caresses
gently urge the clouds
as they clear away
makes me wonder
what goes beyond
that piece of blue

night falls
clouds return
sky on fire
watch clouds burn
rain's coming
run for cover
look around
cant escape
not at tp2e
but that's where i'll go
where cats and dogs call
where the cold wind blows (and bellows)
soaked
shivers in the chill
makes me wonder
if i'll last through the night

you go down and down and want it out. but no, no you won't get it, not without any humilation first

1. try harder
2. try even harder
3. hit the bed

lots of crazy ideas #@!%£š¤¶Æ§

the downs and downs of being nineteen...

no i don't wanna go back (there, or anywhere)
no i don't
take me home (here)

i'd want to go back to school though

i feel like i'm 15.